Week 2 in Pemba

There has been a lot of beautiful cleansing at school. Monday, Leslie preached on freedom in Christ, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free, so stand firm.” (Galatians 5:1) She spoke of what keeps us from this freedom; religious spirits, sin consciousness, self consciousness, fear, yoke of conformity, and spiritual conformity. Fear and self consciousness have always followed so heavily over me since I was young. I have fasted and prayed over these things and only managed some freedom.

There’s almost an addiction to bondage. Just like Israel when they were in the desert. There is a security in slavery as opposed to the unpredictability of God. It’s almost easier to stay in fear than to step out and overcome it, as I would continuously be in situations to exercise my freedom. It’s a bondage to the familiar. Faith is spelled R-I-S-K. Without risk there is no faith.

It was an intense time of deliverance for the entire school. I just called this thing out of me only to see this demon staring me in the face telling me I wasn’t strong enough to send it away. I went to the front, face in the dirt, to get prayer and coughed that sucker out! There the entire school ran out of the tent like crazy nuts yelling- FREEDOM, as we ran to the ocean and back. The next day and on the fruit of freedom was exercised. God thank you!

My friend Robert from Kenya asked if I wanted to paint with him during worship. It was amazing- no fear. You never know how much you are in bondage until you taste freedom. It only makes me think how much MORE truly there is in Christ. I’m ready for more.

I’ve been in such a strange unfamiliar place spiritually in my walk here. I’ve never been in the wilderness before and it’s not comfortable. I’m so used to feeling the strong presence of Jesus always rubbing up on me. I pray, pray, pray and “feel” nothing- blah. Worship, nothing. Where are you God?! I know He’s here but it’s like He’s removed my consciousness of His Spirit away from me. As I walk closer to the Promise Land I run into these pools of refreshing fellowship and freedom. It’s like an oasis in a vast desert. Once refreshed, I keep walking not knowing when the next pool will be, or if there will even be another before the Promise Land. Like the Israelites, cloud by day, fire by night. The Spirit spoke through Leslie saying, if you are in the wilderness that is the perfect place to be, to remove Egypt from you. That is exactly what God has been doing. Just as the Israelites walked into the wilderness away from the slavery, yet comforts of Egypt, I am doing the same. So many times while they were in the wilderness they complained, wanting to go back to the slavery and comforts of Egypt. I’m not comfortable in this spiritual place. I gave up my Bible, my big mama Bible, with all the comforts of highlights and notes in the margins. Now I look faced into a small travel bible and I don’t know where anything is! Oh Jesus is so good. I’m just mentioning one tangible thing. To be fruitful I must leave. It’s a beautiful thing.

I had the privilege to share my heart with Shampa Rice, who is head of Iris India. I poured out my heart about India my desire to go into the darkest places and to set the captives free, the orphans and widows, and to set up orphanages. Before I even said anything she said, I can see we have the same vision. There has not been an open door to India, but for some reason I am thankful even though my heart longs to be there. Shampa said that’s good, I’m being trained and prepared for what I will see in India, which will be disappointment.

The school just saw the movie “Born into Brothel” and I literally felt like throwing up. It actually won movie awards. The movie captures live footage of the brothels and child prostitution in Calcutta, India. Children were chained to pipes, babies sleeping in their own waste and young children forced to endure all day and night cleanings to sustain themselves. These children are the LORDs, they are mine too. I want the untouchables and to bring them into the amazing love of Christ. Someday soon, all I can do is intercede as revival WILL come to India.

On a lighter note- we LOVE Rolland and Heidi Baker. Rolland comes in like a crazy tornado, whoever he touches, they get completely blasted. We just become so filled with joy we roll on the ground laughing to tears! It’s good to get drunk in the Holy Spirit for times of refreshing. The joy of the LORD is my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) Without joy we are weak and just want to bite at people- grrr. True joy, constant joy, unending joy comes from God’s presence. I like joy, I could really live off this stuff.

Chen Ahn is on the base now and is rallying us up for 07.07.07. Yeeee hawwwww! More Lord. Jesus has been so good to me soooo good. Bless you in your week and fill fill, fill, up on the presence of Jesus!