Miscarrying a house

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

Proverbs 13:12

My heart and vision was in a house on 13th street. Everything seemed perfect. Then I lost it. Another buyer gave a cash offer with no contingencies. I feel like the rug has been pulled from underneath me. What happened? Is this a time to rise and stand and say "No that's mine and I'm fighting for it," or "God has something way better," which I can't imagine but need to believe. It's really hard.

I know those who grow strong are those who wait on the Lord. I want to be strong. I look at David's life as he was appointed by Samuel to be king 10-13 years before he actually became king. And during that time, look at all the battles he had. It was character building. That's what I believe this is. I have faith that this place could still be mine but if it's not I have faith that there is a better one. I should make a list of what I want in a house.

It's been difficult looking as I face compromise all the time. This one little 17103 zip code I'm looking in there are like zero houses that I would remotely be interested in buying. Why not just move to 4th street and buy a beautiful house for the same price yet with marble top counters, stainless steel appliances, hardwood floors, central air, a beautiful little porch out front? I'm reminded that is where the poor are not.

It's a struggle, but despite what everyone tells me at school and even some friends, I will not compromise. I can't. It's the Kingdom. Wow, if we only knew the repercussions of bad decisions now we would not do them. I need to be with the poor. The drunks, the drug dealers, the condemned houses, and the lost. That's where my heart is. I have only heard one thing from God with all of this, "Keep dreaming." So I'm going to keep dreaming. Maybe I wasn't dreaming big enough and settled with the house, I don't know.

All I can do is enter back into His rest.

A spoon full of humbleness.

" And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

God has been humbling my heart greatly and putting my heart back in place with Him once again. It frustrates me when I think I can do things without Him; it's pride. Some of the most popular scripture in the Bible has been resurrected to its true beauty in my heart. I'm so useless and hopeless without Jesus Christ. I can preach the gospel, save multitudes, heal the sick, cast out devils and prophesy, but if I have not love I am nothing. Nothing. That humbles my heart greatly. I can remember being in Mozambique always looking for the miracles when Jesus said "Love will heal this boy." Love is what moves the heart of God. Read these scriptures and I pray you have a greater revelation of Love.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." 1 Cor 13:1-8

That's enough to wreck me for a while. A friend sent me a YouTube video with Graham Cook speaking and I have watched it countless times. I need to because I cannot seem to grasp the fullness of the Father's love for me. God loves us 100% now. Even if we do not become better he will still love us 100%. His love never changes. There's nothing we can do to make God love us more, and nothing we can do to make Him love us less. We can't earn God's love. God says, you can only love Me as much as you love yourself. Oh God I need to be set free from how I see myself. If only, if only I would accept every day that I am His beloved, His bride, His perfect one. Oh brothers and sister we must rejoice!

Love. Love. Love. Love is who God is. I want to be love. Love like the Father loves. We can have faith to move mountains, hope to change the world, but the greatest is to love. I want to love outrageously like Daddy does. I think I'm getting a little better each year. I find that when I know His love the most and feel loved I love all in return. God is love. It's great to have love humble my heart.

Here is the YouTube video from Graham Cook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEisSxR2cps

The Vision of the Harrisburg Revival.

"...in the presence of Him whom he believed-God, who gives life to the dead and calls those thing which do not exist as through they did." Romans 4:17

It needs to be written. The Vision of the Harrisburg Revival.

God keeps telling me to dream, dream, dream. Do you see it? We must see it to believe it. Seeing is believing. It's hard to pray and believe something you don't see. So see it. Believe it. Receive it. It is yours. It is Ours. "The earth is the Lord's and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell in it." Psalm 24:1

God has somehow trusted me with His heart like I have never experienced before. The more I talk about the dream the more I believe it. I prophesy the dream and speak His Kingdom into existence in Harrisburg. Just as God spoke the earth into existence, I speak this revival, the house, the ministry, and changed lives into this city. We are co-labors with Christ. This is what we see together...

A house in the desperate parts of the city. This is a house of Obed-Edom, a house of glory where those in a certain radius are touched by Jesus, just like when Obed-Edom kept the arc of the covenant in his house. I see a house church in this home. One with many colors and ages being discipled, bringing in the harvest. I see dinners being made for many, cookouts, His kingdom being easy, effortless. I see a new international ministry being birthed out of this house. A name I have been given yet it is not the time for it to be released. A house of fellowship, a house of redemption, salvation, and love.

Today as I was meditating on the vision I tried to dream more but I could not. This is as far as I can dream yet still believe. I said, God, now what? He said, now you have to get your butt into the city.

It's funny because reality is so different from God. That's why heaven wants to invade earth. We are the beautiful vessels that make that connection because the Holy Spirit indwells, in us Praise the Lord. I can tell you that the reality is I have little money in the bank, not even enough to cover closing costs, thousands of dollars still in college debt, have barely ever run even a bible study, and I am still in the Hummelstown apartment waiting for the release. All I can do it laugh because God is so funny and you know He's going to do it.

I look back at the many things that needed to be done before leaving for Mozambique... find a job, possibly move, roommate, raise thousands, pack up a classroom and leave the next day after the kiddos were out of school. God is SO BIG!

Our biggest dream is so little to Jesus. Whatever we can come up with, He has something ten times bigger in store.

God says... Take your place!

So many times we wait on God but He is waiting on us! Didn't Jesus say this in the great and glorious commission...

"And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” " Mark 16:15-18

The first word I'm stuck on is "Go." Hehehe Go. Yes, there is a time and season for everything and we need to pray if the doors are open or closed. But think about Paul, he went and when the door was closed he didn't stop moving, he just turned somewhere else until we saw the door remained open. God we have to move our feet, whether it's in the work place, the grocery store, the streets, or the nations, we have go GO!


Revival is already happening in Harrisburg, I can feel it already. I am house hunting and I know God wants me to be in a strategic location for ministry. I covet your prayers for wisdom, finances, faith, and greater revelation of God's heart. Thank you so much and I will keep you all posted.