Not of this world

It's so alluring how we can become consumed by the culture of the world. How much of us look like the world. We act, dress, speak, and laugh at the same things that those who do not know Jesus. Does not Jesus call us to be only in the world and not of it? This culture of consumerism and prosperity has gripped the church around her neck and is sending her into a tail spin. It's a death where the focus is not purely on Jesus.

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matthew 16:26

We have found such value in things that do not matter. I'm confronted with the question: Where does your identity rest? The latest fashion trend, diet food craze, man-made doctrine and hypocrisy, or should we ever even slip into what people care to think about us. The fear of man can rule us to a point where we change who we are to fit the needs and perceptions of others. We can be so ruled by the systems of this world, politics, money, lustful desires; it just surrounds us.

I often feel so overweight. This is a heaviness that surrounds and pulls me down because a battle that I face every day. Surrender. To give my life, my everything, to my Jesus. Nothing else matters. Fancy cars, houses, and clothes, it's all going to pass away. What will He find when it all passes away? How much will you allow yourself to be shaken? To lose yourself in Jesus where you soon find that nothing matters except loving and being loved by Him.

"...If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25

The pressures of this world are a reality but we must realize who we are in Christ: the bride, holy, anointed ones who are set apart, overcomers, strong and mighty! These are the days that God wants to restore righteousness, holiness and purity back to His church. It's the last wave of glory that He will bring. A faith tested through fire, impurities removed, and a church who is still standing and waiting for the return of the Bridegroom.

I want to say to the church, that we must flee from the idolatry of our times and be separated from the world. We must die to ourselves to can truly live in Jesus. We have nothing to lose but ourselves and the reward is being found in Jesus. I tell the church to hold fast to Word and find rest in His presence. You will look different from those around you, the world and the church. Discern the times. Arise and take ahold of the prize.

The broken church... and my broken spirit.

What I have been experiencing since this past year, after Holy Given, has surmounted to last night. What was once familiar and what I would say belongs to me, is no longer apart of me anymore. I have put too much of my identity in the church, in man's eyes, my very being into what my church is about. Again, I find we missed it. We missed your heart about everything. What you have shown me I do not deserve but I will listen to your voice and follow you.

I have placed too much of my trust and confidence and identity in man and I see your saddened face for the church. Let me see Father, let me see. I feel so alone Jesus, so alone. But I know you will never leave me. There will be great times of being alone ahead so I must trust you and be faithful to what you now show me that although I am lost in the world, that I am truly found in you. Everything that I felt I had to offer to the body has fallen from it's high place and has been made dust among the rocks. My gifts, my position, my worship, my words now seem like icing on a bitter cake.

This entire process has been entirely too uncomfortable- the church's worldly culture, the offerings messages, concert atmospheres, tattoos and piercings. I return to you my Father. I return to you. In these revelations I chose to have my heart act and speak out of love. That I would love the church as she is, spotted, tired, deceived and hurt. For love covers a multitude of sins and I must be that physical manifestation of your presence.

God I feel I have been unfaithful over and over again in so many ways that I do not deserve all the forgiveness you extend to me. It's true, because I don't deserve it, but you, Lord Jesus, willingly laid down and offered your life so we could be together. Your blood and your sacrifice is something far beyond my comprehension and I desire deeper revelation of it in my spirit. Lord, your love and your compassion towards me is the only thing that keeps me alive.